Lanzarote 2015 – Day 10 – Moans & Groans

The title is not about noises but more about me and my increasing disparity with some people and their behaviour.
1) Dinner conversation is dead? With the increase of Social Media, email and the Internet in general, mealtimes appear to be the time when we indulge in all of these instead of interacting with our fellow diners, usually our loved ones. The number of, men in particular, sitting at dinner in the hotel engrossed in their iPhones whilst partner runs around getting food, is outrageous. Not a word spoken for an hour. This picture was taken at a very nice restaurant in the square and is all that is wrong with the male yoof of today.

He is at dinner with a beautiful girl who is studying the menu whilst he not only is texting on his phone but has brought his laptop to dinner. What a complete and utter idiot. She deserves better and I just hope that she doesn’t wait around very long. You, young man, in the meantime should save time and money by staying single and playing with your electronic friends. Oh and another tip, trying smiling once in a while. It is allowed even if you are German. (Disclaimer – please note that not all Germans are like this, in particular all of those that I work with!).
Okay, it is not just the men and the young that behave like this. What do you reckon Mrs CT?

2) Dining habits. Now I know I have moaned about this in previous years but the yoof of today In particular are not getting any better. I lay the blame squarely at the feet of fast food conglomarates such as McDonalds, Subway, KFC and the like. Here are some tips on how to improve.
a) DO when entering the hotel dining room, locate yourself a comfortable table, sit down and wait to be welcomed by the nice waiter who will take your order for drinks and then promptly deliver them to you.
b) DON’T rush to the nearest buffet section, load your plate so high that you cannot see over it and then stand there wondering where you are going to sit. Oh and by the way, having meat, salad, biscuits, cake all on the same plate is not cool.
c) Dinner is not a race. Take time to breathe now and then and perhaps put your fork down (note the lack of knife), pause and talk to your partner. Texting your mates who aren’t even there does not count. See above.
d) If you happen to spill a little food don’t make a song and dance about it. Example – if you are a young lady (if such a person exists from Southend) and you have peeled yourself a dozen or so prawns for starter, don’t suddenly exclaim ” blimey they have all squirted down me tits breasts” followed by grabbing the nearest napkin and shoving it down your ample cleavage in a clean up attempt. I would have taken a great pic at this point but Mrs CT was looking daggers at me not to mention what her tattooed covered boyfriend might have done.
e) If you are Spanish and are sitting no more than 50cm from your friend, THERE IS NO NEED TO SHOUT!

Nice delicacy, not for the squeamish. Razor Clams

3) Dress etiquette. I know I am not the Mr Trendy of fashion but I do know what is appropriate to wear and when. The number of people in this hotel that turn up to dinner or the evening bar dressed as though they have just come of the beach is remarkable. Sadly I have to say that it is the men letting the side down as the ladies do make an effort and in general look beautiful. This is more than can be said for this young lady who thinks that it is okay to walk to the lunch bar like this!!

Only one question. Is she or isn’t she? Zoom in if you must, I know some of you will!
I can hear you all saying, what a grumpy old man. No – I might be a grumpy older man. I used to be a grumpy middle aged man and no doubt in 15 years or so I will be a fully paid up Grumpy Old Man. In the meantime I will look like this if I want to 🙂


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