Crete 2013 – Day 7 – All things Orange

It’s been a funny sort of day. Starting this morning when a young lady covered me in orange juice. Not in a weird spa treatment sort of way but more of a “oh no I’ve broken the juice dispenser”. She had managed to snap the tap off one of those big glass containers that hotels use. This one had just been filled with 5 litres of the sticky stuff, with bits I hastened to add. So as a 3ft jet of juice shot out across the restaurant in my direction, things were only made worse when she tried to jam her undersized finger into the hole only causing the jet to become an even more soaking spray. Fortunately my man sized thumb was a perfect fit for the hole and the orangey flood was stemmed. At this point anyone reading smut into my words should grow up! Anna, an oversized Russian waitress, in build and height not fat, eventually came to the rescue and on the count of 3 we swapped thumbs and she carried the remaining liquid off to the kitchen. My loafers are knackered and the poor girl who started all this was still very upset but grateful for the kind English knight that came to her rescue.

Talking of things orange, this is Bernie the counterpart to Lollo the 7ft giraffe. They continue to do 1 of 2 things to the under 6 year olds a) send them into a whipped up frenzy of excitement and urge to cuddle the furry creatures followed shortly after by floods of tears and uncontrollable wailing when they depart or b) the sight of an overgrown moving toy frightens the cr&p out of them that they must suffer from dreadful nightmares for the remainder of the holidays. Surely neither of these can be good for the parents or the rest of the suffering adults at breakfast / lunch.

This next picture was taken at the same time and provided us with the laugh of the day.

Good Lord above! Skin tight black speedos are one thing but at what point did this guy stand in the shop and think “do you know what I would look great in those”. No no no. Have you lost a bet to wear a pair of your wife’s bikini bottoms for the day? I am struggling to think what other excuse you could use 🙂

At the same lunch, after our seafood salad, pizza, rose wine and beer we were treated once against to the double Raki encore. Another CH2OH induced sleep on the sun-beds ensued. Oh well more burnt bits to sooth!