Menorca – Day 1 – Mayonnaise on the Cross Beam

It’s 3am in a cold and wet Stanwick and the selected six set forth, destination Es Castell, Menorca via LTN. Uneventful drive to the airport but a very cold wait for the car park bus.
I fly quite regularly from this airport and have never seen it so busy. This is not helped by the £100m extension works that are going on at present. 30 minute queue for the bag drop only matched by the queue for security. Time to try out my recently purchased Mofily Yocam, more of this later in the week.

Just enough time remaining to buy a snack for the flight and get to the gate. No pre-flight beer as is usual on holiday. As it turns out later, this was probably not a bad thing. As we were first flight out, the plane from easyJet was already waiting. Flight time of 1:40 literally flew by. Into Mahon airport at 09:10. Bags first off, minibus located effortlessly and we were on our way to our accommodation by 09:35

Arrive Es Castell 09:50. Here lay our first challenge but one that we knew about beforehand. The Villa would not be ready for us until 14:30. So what are 6 UK holiday makers supposed to do early morning in a sunny fishing village? Drink beer of course! Even the lady folk joined in. First round ordered at 10:10. Oh dear this break is going to get messy even earlier than I though.

So 2 rounds later we went for a stroll. Ladies straight to the nearest shop that sold clothes, shoes and handbags, gents perusing the beautiful scenery whilst selecting the next refreshment stop (bar)

What pretty little place this is. Cala Fonts to give it its proper name. Small harbour surrounded by a collection of bars and restaurants. A cosy family run tapas bar was chosen for an early lunch. So early that the kitchen wasn’t quite ready for us. Oh dear, another beer then and the first jug of Sangria.

Plates of anchovies, squid, mountain ham, houmus, whitebait and tomato bread followed. Of course with more beer. The phone then rang, it was Rusell our charming host and villa owner, to say that we could take up residence. A task that we wasted no time upon. Cases slung into bedrooms, after being chosen by lottery, swimwear selected and pool entered. Refreshing or what. I forgot to mention that on the way to the villa we found the local supermarket and stocked up on necessities for the next few days; beer, wine, Sangria, breakfast materials and salty snacks. So much in fact that we had to borrow the supermarket trolley to transport it.

Pictures of the villa and gardens will follow later in the week.
At 19:00 the menfolk were dispatched as hunter gatherers to seek out pizzas for dinner. Of course it took us ages and 2 bar stops to find the pizza place which was rather good and furnished us with a further beer whilst we waited.

Back at the villa the catch was devoured along with a cheeky little red that had been purchased earlier in the day. Now for those of you that have been paying attention during this blog you will have calculated that between the first beer on the plane at 06:30 and now, which is 22:00, quite a few drinks have been consumed by yours truly. This leads me nicely to the weird but accurate title of the blog. The photograph below also shows the detail.

As I leant down to retrieve the wandering Mayo sachet, I managed to clip my wine glass which erupted in a shower of cheap Roja all over, you guessed it, Mrs CT. It was actuall dripping of her eyelids and chin. The resulting tourettes driven words from my wife are too racy to be published but you can be assured that I am in the doghouse on day 1 of the holiday. As she left the room the scene was too much for Mrs R and even more so for Mrs Cas who started crying tears of laughter.
Laters, if I survive the night ūüôĀ

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